People, Money, Things: A Better Way to Decide

When Choices Overwhelm

I spent twenty minutes in Target last week, paralyzed between buying new throw pillows and paying for my daughter’s field trip. The pillows were on sale. The field trip wasn’t urgent—the deadline was two weeks away. I stood there, basket in hand, genuinely unsure which mattered more. Every choice becomes this exhausting calculation of want versus should versus maybe-later. Financial advisor Suze Orman offers a framework that cuts through this confusion: “People first, then money, then things.” When I finally remembered her rule, the decision wasn’t emotional anymore. It was obvious.

A Simple Hierarchy

Here’s how Orman’s framework would have handled my Target moment: The throw pillows are a thing. My daughter’s field trip is people—an experience connecting her to friends and learning. People comes first. Take the pillows off the table entirely, not because they’re bad but because they’re the wrong category for right now. The relief I felt when I actually applied this was unexpected. Not guilt about wanting the pillows, not resentment about “always sacrificing,” just clarity. This goes before that. Done.

The framework covers three categories: people (including you—your health, relationships, experiences), money (savings, debt elimination, security), and things (physical stuff). The temptation, of course, is to upgrade things by pretending they’re people. Most of us have been running this backwards, buying things while our emergency fund sits at zero, upgrading possessions while avoiding the dentist. When you identify which category a purchase falls into, the decision often makes itself.

Ramit Sethi’s Conscious Spending

Personal finance writer Ramit Sethi built his entire philosophy around this concept, though he frames it differently. In his twenties, he drove a beat-up Honda Civic while spending extravagantly on travel to visit friends across the country. His apartment was sparse—secondhand furniture, no TV, minimal kitchen equipment. But he invested heavily in his education, took friends out for expensive dinners, and never hesitated on plane tickets home. People criticized his “unbalanced” spending until his career took off, partially fueled by the relationships and experiences he’d prioritized. He didn’t spend randomly—he spent in the order Orman outlines: people first, financial security second, things last.

Applying the Filter

Start by auditing last month’s spending through Orman’s lens. Don’t judge yet, just categorize. That gym membership you’re not using? People—it’s about your health, even if you’re not showing up. The streaming services? Probably things, unless they’re genuinely connecting you to others. Student loan payments? Money—building security by eliminating debt. Now look at the proportions.

Most of us discover something uncomfortable here: we’ve been heavily weighted toward things while people and money fight for scraps. I found I’d spent more on home décor last quarter than on my HSA contributions. Both felt responsible in the moment—one made my space nicer, one protected my future health. But they’re not equal categories, and I’d been pretending they were.

The hierarchy becomes your decision filter going forward. When you’re tempted to upgrade your phone, ask which category that serves. Usually things, occasionally people if your current phone genuinely impedes connection. Is your emergency fund at three months? That’s money—it needs to happen before the phone upgrade. Does your kid need tutoring? That’s people—it takes priority over both the phone and additional emergency savings beyond your baseline.

The gap between what you say matters and where your money actually goes is usually wider than you want to admit. The framework just makes it visible. You can close it slowly, one redirected dollar at a time, or you can keep pretending you’ll get to the important stuff later.

This Week’s Practice

I’ll be honest—the first time I tried to use this framework for a real decision, I cheated. I wanted new running shoes, decided they were “people” because health, and bought them even though my car insurance was due and I hadn’t saved for it. The shoes were things. I knew it. The framework works, but only if you’re willing to be honest about what category something actually falls into, not what category makes the purchase feel justified.

Pick one expense you’re considering this week. Place it in its true category, not its convenient one. Then follow the order: people first, money second, things last. Notice what comes up—the resistance, the rationalization, the urge to make exceptions.

Values Made Visible

Money doesn’t have to be the daily source of low-grade anxiety most of us experience. The stress often comes from knowing our spending doesn’t reflect what actually matters to us. Orman’s hierarchy gives you permission to be intentional rather than reactive. People first means investing in health, relationships, and growth. Money second means creating security before comfort. Things last means they’re allowed, even enjoyed, but only after the foundation is solid. The order matters more than the amounts.

One Clear Choice

Look at your upcoming financial decisions through this three-part lens. Pick one expense you’re considering this week. Place it in its true category, not its convenient one. Then follow the order: people first, money second, things last. You don’t need a perfect budget or complete financial overhaul. You need a reliable way to decide what matters most, and Orman just handed you one. Start using it today.