Money – Your Friend or Your Fear

The Wake-Up Call

My card got declined buying coffee last Tuesday. Not because I was broke – I had money, I just had no idea which account it was in or what bills had already hit. Standing there while the barista waited and the line grew behind me, I felt that familiar shame creep up my neck. But this time, something else hit me: when did I become someone who was surprised by my own financial life? Tony Robbins says, “You either master money or, on some level, money masters you.” That moment, fumbling for a different card while avoiding eye contact, I realized I’d been living on the wrong side of that equation for way too long. The real problem wasn’t the declined card – it was that I’d handed over control of my financial life without even noticing.

Finding Your Power

Here’s what nobody tells you about money anxiety: it’s rarely about the actual numbers. It’s about the helplessness. When money masters you, it doesn’t just control your bank account – it rewrites your entire day. You wake up and immediately start mental math before your feet hit the floor. You avoid opening certain emails. You say “I can’t afford it” about things you actually can afford, and “sure, why not” about things you definitely can’t. Your mood gets hijacked by paychecks hitting early—or surprise subscriptions hitting at all. Robbins’ quote stings because it forces you to ask: who’s really running this show? The uncomfortable truth is that most of us have been passengers in our own financial lives, and we didn’t even realize we’d given up the keys.

Real Transformation

I’ve been thinking about my friend Sarah lately. Two years ago, she was the person who would Venmo request you for her half of dinner three days later, not because she was cheap, but because she genuinely couldn’t remember what she could afford to cover. Money stress had become so constant it was like background noise she’d learned to ignore. Then her car died, and she couldn’t get approved for even a basic loan. That’s when she got angry – not at being broke, but at being blindsided by her own financial reality. She started doing something radical: she began treating money like information instead of emotion. Every dollar got a job before she spent it. Every purchase got a pause. Not because she wanted to be cheap, but because she wanted to be intentional. The weird thing? Within six months, she had more money than before, but more importantly, she had something she hadn’t felt in years: financial confidence. She wasn’t making more money; she was making conscious choices about the money she had.

Taking Small Steps

The shift from financial fear to financial friendship doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It starts with one rebellious act: looking at your reality without judgment. Check your account balance right now – not to feel bad about it, but to stop being surprised by it. Then, for one week, try this: before you buy anything, ask yourself one question: “Why now?” Not to talk yourself out of purchases, but to make sure you’re the one deciding. Maybe you realize you shop when you’re bored, or you avoid certain bills because they feel overwhelming, or you make different money decisions when you’re tired versus when you’re rested. Start noticing the patterns. Then pick one tiny rule and stick to it religiously: wait ten minutes before any unplanned purchase, or check your balance every morning with your coffee, or have one honest money conversation per week. The goal isn’t perfection – it’s consciousness. When you start making intentional choices about money, something shifts. The anxiety doesn’t disappear overnight, but it gets replaced by something better: the quiet confidence that comes from being in control.

Your Next Move

This week, choose one financial fear to face head-on:

– That bill you’ve been avoiding? Open it and make a plan, even if the plan is “I’ll deal with this in two weeks”
– That subscription you forgot about? Cancel it or consciously choose to keep it
– That money conversation you’ve been postponing? Have it, even if it’s uncomfortable
– That account balance you’re afraid to check? Look at it like you’re checking the weather – just information

Pick one. The point isn’t to fix everything – it’s to prove to yourself that you can look at your financial reality without it destroying your day.

Moving Forward

Building a friendship with money means accepting that some days will be better than others. You’ll slip back into old patterns, avoid uncomfortable truths, or make emotional decisions. The difference is that now you’ll notice when it happens, and you can choose differently next time. Financial mastery isn’t about never making mistakes – it’s about making conscious choices.

Start Today

Right now, before you close this article, check one account balance. Just look. Don’t judge it, don’t plan around it, just see it as information. Tomorrow, make one financial decision – any decision – consciously. The goal isn’t to have more money tomorrow. It’s to remember what it feels like to be the one making the choices.