Living With Nature, Not Against It

That Moment Everything Clicked

I was standing in my backyard last spring, glaring at dandelions pushing through my patio cracks like they owned the place. My hand was already reaching for the weed killer when I heard giggling drifting on the warm breeze from next door. My neighbor’s twin girls were making dandelion chains in what I’d always thought was her messy yard – full of clover and wildflowers and whatever else wanted to grow there. One of them held up a crown of bright yellow flowers, petals soft as silk between her fingers, and declared herself Queen of Spring. That’s when it hit me: I was about to poison something that made a five-year-old feel like royalty. Barry Commoner, who spent his life studying how we relate to the natural world, once said, “The proper use of science is not to conquer nature but to live in it.” Watching those kids find magic in what I called weeds, his words stopped being abstract and started being obvious.

Control vs. Curiosity

You know that feeling when you’re constantly battling something and suddenly realize you chose this fight? We’ve gotten so used to seeing nature as something to manage and control that we forget there’s another option. Instead of treating every brown spot or weed like an enemy, start asking what nature’s trying to tell you. Janine Benyus built her career on that curiosity—studying birds to improve airplane wings, termite mounds to cool buildings. When engineers couldn’t make planes more efficient, she pointed to how hawks soar effortlessly for hours. When architects struggled with energy bills, she showed them termite towers that stay cool without any mechanical systems. The moment we switch from control to curiosity, solutions become simpler and more creative. What I love about her approach isn’t just the success – it’s that she seems genuinely delighted by what nature teaches her. That’s the opposite of how most of us approach the natural world, and honestly, it sounds like a lot more fun.

Small Changes That Actually Work

This doesn’t require a personality transplant or a move to the woods. Start noticing when you’re fighting against something natural and ask yourself why. When I finally looked at why moss loved my north-facing steps, I discovered a drainage issue that could have cost me serious money down the road. My sister stopped battling her clay soil and started working with it – now she spends less time gardening and her vegetables actually taste like something. Next time you’re shopping, pick the product that works with natural processes instead of against them. Your morning coffee? Those biodegradable pods break down instead of sitting in a landfill for decades. That new jacket? Maybe choose the one insulated like bird feathers instead of synthetic fill that needs chemical treatments. Pay attention to how you talk about nature – “invasive” versus “fast-growing,” “pest” versus “indicator species.” The words we use shape how we see things, and how we see things shapes how we feel about dealing with them.

Right Now, Today

Step outside and find one thing that’s been annoying you about your natural surroundings. Instead of planning how to fix it, spend five minutes wondering why it’s happening. What is it trying to tell you?

Why This Changes Everything

This isn’t about saving the planet – though that’s a nice side effect. It’s about saving your energy for things that matter. When you work with natural systems instead of against them, life gets simpler. You worry less about controlling everything because you’re not responsible for controlling everything. You save money by solving root causes instead of treating symptoms. You feel more connected to the world around you instead of constantly annoyed by it. Those little girls making dandelion crowns weren’t just playing – they were learning that the world is designed to delight them, not defeat them. That’s available to all of us, every single day, as soon as we stop fighting long enough to notice.

Your Nature Reset

Choose one specific battle you’re currently fighting with the natural world: the weeds between your pavers? The moss on your roof? The ants near your porch? Instead of planning your next attack, spend five minutes wondering why it’s happening and what it might be trying to tell you. Notice how this small shift from control to curiosity changes not just your approach, but how your whole day feels.