Kindness: The Medicine for Invisible Struggles

Invisible Weights

I remember rushing through the grocery store, annoyed at the cashier who seemed painfully slow. I huffed and checked my watch, making sure she noticed my impatience. Later that day, I overheard another employee mention that her colleague had just returned to work after losing her mother. The weight of my unkindness crashed down on me. How could I have known she was moving through her day carrying such grief? The truth is, I couldn’t have—and that’s exactly the point of the powerful wisdom in “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle,” a quote from Ian McLaren. We so often judge others based on their impact on our day, never considering the invisible battles shaping their lives behind the scenes.

Beyond Surfaces

This quote reminds us of a fundamental truth about humanity: behind every face lies a story we cannot see from the outside. Each person we encounter—from the bus driver to our closest friend—carries invisible battles that shape their responses, moods, and capacity on any given day. McLaren’s words challenge our natural tendency to interpret others’ actions solely through the lens of how they affect us. Instead, they invite us to pause and consider that perhaps the driver who cut us off is rushing to a hospital, or the colleague who seems distant is struggling with anxiety that makes each interaction exhausting. When we recognize this reality, our perspective shifts from frustration to understanding.

Seeing Through

Lady Gaga demonstrates this principle powerfully through her openness about her struggles with PTSD, fibromyalgia, and chronic pain while maintaining her public persona. For years, fans saw only her extraordinary performances and artistic success, completely unaware of the physical pain and emotional battles she fought backstage. When she finally shared her diagnosis in her documentary “Five Foot Two,” many were shocked to see the contrast between her public image and private suffering. Through her Born This Way Foundation, she now advocates for mental health awareness, reminding us that even those who appear to “have it all” may be fighting significant battles behind the scenes. Her journey embodies the truth that surfaces rarely tell the complete story.

Kindness Arsenal

Fortunately, we have powerful tools to practice this wisdom in our daily interactions. First, cultivate the habit of pausing before judgment. When someone’s behavior frustrates you, try thinking, “I wonder what they might be going through today?” This simple mental shift can transform irritation into compassion. Second, offer micro-kindnesses that require minimal effort but might make enormous differences—a genuine “thank you” to service workers, holding a door with a smile, or sending a text to check on someone who’s been quiet lately.

Third, practice presence by truly listening when others speak, without planning your response or glancing at your phone. When someone feels truly heard, it can ease a weight they didn’t have words for. The gift of your full attention acknowledges their worth and creates space for authentic connection. Finally, speak with gentleness, especially when delivering criticism or expressing disagreement. The tone we use often matters as much as the words themselves, and a gentle approach acknowledges that the person before us may already be weathering storms we cannot see. These tools don’t require special training—just the willingness to remember that everyone has a story we don’t know.

Start Small

Today, choose one person you regularly interact with—perhaps someone you find difficult or someone you typically pass without much thought—and perform one deliberate act of kindness for them. It needn’t be elaborate; even a warmer greeting or a sincere compliment can shift the dynamic. As you do this, silently acknowledge that this person, like everyone, carries hidden struggles deserving of compassion. And remember, these acts of kindness often bring their own rewards—reduced stress, increased happiness, and a deeper sense of connection to those around you.

Ripple Effect

When we practice kindness with the awareness that everyone fights unseen battles, we transform not just our relationships but ourselves. We develop greater patience, deeper empathy, and a more accurate perception of reality. Our kindness might not always solve another’s problems, but it ensures we don’t add to them. And sometimes, the smallest gesture arrives at exactly the right moment to help someone continue their fight with renewed strength. The beauty of this approach is that it doesn’t require knowing what others are going through—just the humility to recognize that they are going through something.

Your Move

Begin today by treating kindness not as an occasional virtue but as essential medicine for a hurting world. When you encounter difficult people or situations, remember that behind every interaction lies a story you may never know. What small act of kindness can you offer today—knowing it may be just what someone needs to keep going?